Your success doesn’t have to be accompanied by loneliness. Here’s what you can do to change that!

Continue reading below to know more!

Your success doesn’t have to be accompanied by loneliness. Here’s what you can do to change that!

Financial independence, ownership over one’s time, and prestigious titles are often considered as markers of professional and personal success. 

That’s why high-performing individuals spend so much time and dedication in climbing the professional ladder in the hopes of attaining not only a better career but also a better life.

However, it’s often been observed that the climb to the top is often accompanied by loneliness and isolation. 

According to the  Pew Research Center,  16% of adults  say they feel lonely or isolated all or most of the time. 

Even though the same research found that 58% of adults feel more optimistic about their life, that doesn’t change the fact that there are those who feel lonely or isolated.

Those  experiencing loneliness  are less likely to work efficiently and stay emotionally present, leading to lower job satisfaction and higher chances of experiencing mental and physical health issues. 

Simply said, feelings of loneliness and isolation  can  and  will  hurt a person’s ability to become the best version of himself or herself.

That’s why for the past few years, there’s been a massive explosion in the number of books, research, and advice on how to reduce or overcome loneliness.

Most of the time, authors of these well-meaning materials have advised their audience to  connect more with others.

… and even though this is sound advice, many still continue to grapple with loneliness, even though everyone is more connected than ever.

So, what can be done about this?

The answer lies in changing the way loneliness is viewed.

According to psychologist  Alexander Danvers, it’s not the quantity of interactions and connections that drive feelings of loneliness; it’s the  quality.

Said another way, loneliness doesn’t result from lack of interactions but a perceived lack of  feeling valued by others.

Psychologist Gordon Flett defines this feeling of being unseen, unheard, or unvalued by others as anti-mattering. The opposite of this feeling is mattering, where you feel significant to those around you because you feel valued and know that you do add value.

That said, how can you combat loneliness, or rather, reduce anti-mattering in your life?

Here’s what  Zach Mercurio , a researcher who specializes in this topic, suggests:

• Be a “noticer.”
  
  Mercurio defines “noticing” as  “taking an interest in and paying attention to the details, ebbs, and flows of someone else’s life and showing them that you remember them.”
  
  He says that noticing others begins with acknowledging people and taking the time to know how they’re doing, and offering support when needed.
  
  
• Affirm others.
  
  Mercurio argues that affirmation is about showing people how their  “uniqueness makes a unique difference.”
  
  This isn’t just about appreciation or recognition, but going a step further by telling others about their uniqueness and how that trait is a difference maker.
  
  
• Remind others that they’re needed.
  
  Mercurio suggests thinking about the people in your life you rely on and telling them how much value they add to your life.
  
  By showing those around you that they matter, you’ll start to see how  you  matter.
  
  According to Mercurio, the more you notice, affirm, and show others how much they matter, the more they’ll do the same thing for you.
  
  

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While loneliness is a much more pervasive feeling these days, especially when you’re aiming to live your best life professionally and personally, this doesn’t mean that you have to succumb to this feeling.

With the insights we shared above, you can change how you view loneliness.

As we’ve learned, loneliness and isolation aren’t feelings that can be erased by interacting more with others; reducing the impact of those emotions in your life must also be done by making the people in your life feel that they matter.

By doing so, you’re much more likely to receive the same treatment, ending up with you also feeling valued, remembered, and seen.

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